SNP blame Westminster for Oscar Pistorius shooting his girlfriend

International News Report by our reporter Graham McBoogle.

In a dramatic development in South Africa today the leader of Glenboggle council and head of the Scottish Notional Privvy, Alex Salmon ( know to his friends as Smart Alex) stood up in the court in South Africa were Oscar Pistorius is on trial and waved the blue Glenboggle flag behind the judge.

Observers at the court said that it seemed that smart Alex had thought that some sort of sporting event was being held and that, as he usually does, it was important for him to appear and fly the flag of Glenboggle. Observers reported that smart Alex appeared to realise his mistake and then began declaiming about the iniquities of the British Empire and the blood soaked history of English Tories coming to Glenboggle to buy holiday homes. He also claimed that Glenboggle Council would soon be declaring that it would be leaving the South of Scotland and that most people in Glenboggle would soon vote for this.

Mr Salmon declared -
"The Tory English come here and try to tell us that Glenboggle Council is too wee and too poor to be an independent council. Well we aren't a bunch of feartiehearts.   We have decades of Irn Bru reserves that can be mined round here and its always raining so our water exports can be worth trillions."

The South African Judge Ms Marion Mbekobekamobokobika asked Mr Salmon
"Why do you think you can come here and disrupt this court with nonsense like this? Surely you must have had some sort of escape plan B?"

Mr Salmon replied that he refused to discuss whether he had any plan B as he was sure that the judge would let him go in view of the enormous contribution that the village of Glenboggle had made to world history and culture.

When the judge gave Mr Salmon a further chance to explain his plan B he refused and the judge therefore sentenced him to two months because she "held him in contempt".

Mr Salmon was lead away shouting that "You'll see, its in both our interests for you to let me go" and shouting that "they are only bluffing about jailing me".  He was last seen being driven away in a Prison van to start his sentence.

The opposition leader on Glenboggle Council Mr H.E.Dinsand said that Mr Salmon's behaviour had brought disgrace on the village at a time when everyone needed to focus on the important task of getting the sheep sheared.