31 January 2005

Scottish Weather - Lesson two.

Well this is getting very technical so I hope you have all been studying hard because I will be asking questions later.
Ok so we have basically covered the major points of water and wind. There is a lot more to it but we'll come back to that at a future lesson.

Just now I want to introduce a third factor - temperature. Most of you will have heard that well known Scottish expression - Its bloody freezin. Actually this is the anglicised version. No true Scot would actually use the word bloody in this context. To do so they would risk being taken for a real sassenach. The true Scot would say I'm fuckin freezin. However even this is not strictly true. there is an unwritten rule in Scotland that one must never - ever - admit to being affected by the temerature. It is acceptable of course to admit to being affected by water, so, for example "help I'm fuckin droonin" (excuse me sir but I appear to be drowning) is perfectly acceptable. Equally one can admit to having been affected by wind either of the personal or climactic kind. So for example statements of the form "Fuck me, d'ye smell that yin?" or " Oor dad wiz blown awa" will often be heard. So if you do hear someone say I'm fuckin freezin then you should suspect that their ancestors may not be wholly Scottish. It is interesting to compare Scottish usage in this respect with Geordie custom (people from Newcastle). In Newcastle it is customary for young ladies to wear less clothes at night the colder the weather gets and to do so without complaint.

To return to our third factor then. Temperature. This comes in three basic variants. Mildly cold, very cold and freezin. (remember never to admit personally to being freezin).
Each of the combinations that we discussed in Lesson One can be found in each of the three of these temperature variants. So for example we may have mildly cold windy water or freezin windy water.
As you can begin to see the variation in the Scottish climate is endless. More of this in the next lesson when I also hope to begin to look at aspects of Scottish culture.

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