Y' ken yer Scottish if........

Are You Scottish?

You know you are a true Scot if.........

1. Ye can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie, Sauchiehall St, St Enoch, Auchtermuchty and Aufurfuksake.

2. Ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the chippie.

3. Yer used tae fowr seasons in wan day.

4. Ye canna pass a chip/kebab shop wee'oot sleverin when yer blootert.

5. Ye kin fa aboot pished wee'oot spilling yer drink.

6. Ye see people wearin shell suits wi burberry accessories - pure class!

7. Ye measure distance in minutes.

8. Ye kin understaun Rab C Nesbitt and ken characters just like him, in yer ain femily.

9. Ye go tae Saltcoats cos ye think it is like gaun tae the ocean.

10. Ye kin make hael sentences jist wae sweer wurds.

11. Ye ken whit haggis is made ae and stull like eating it.

12. Somedy ye ken his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding day date.

13. You've been at a wedding an fitba scores are announced in the Church/Chapel

14. Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n chips, iron-bru, fags and nappies all in the wan shop.

15. Yer holiday hame at the seaside has calor gas uner it.

6. Ye ken irn-bru is a hangover cure.

17. Ye learnt tae sweer afore ye learnt tae dae sums.

18. Ye actually understaun this and yurr gonnae send it tae yer pals .

19. Finally, you are 100% Scot if you have ever said/heard these words;

how's it hingin, clatty, boggin, cludgie, pished, get it up ye, wee beasties, erse bandit, amurny, away an bile yer heid, peely-wally, humphey backit, Ba'-heid, baw bag, dubble nugget.

And finally......

A wee Glesga wumman goes intae a butchershop, whar the butcher has jist came oot the freezer, and is standing haunds ahint his back, with his erse aimed at an electric fire.

The wee wumman checks oot the display case then asks, "Is that yer Ayrshire bacon?"

"Naw," replies the butcher. "It's jist ma haun's ah'm heatin'.

:-) Thanks to Shad7547 ( and there's mair comin')