09 January 2009

Police act on Scottish rural prostitution

Scottish rural street sheep prostitutes being rounded upAs part of the Scottish Government initiative against prostitution Scottish police forces have launched a massive blitz against rural sheep prostitution.

Inspector Taggart of Girvan Valley Police explained that the initiative had been launched with high profile raids on shops selling wellington boots under the counter and that they were now moving street sheep prostitutes away from their usual haunts.

In the accompanying picture Inspector Taggart can be seen rounding up street prostitutes in the red light area of Glenbogle and moving them away from the bus stops where they ply their trade.

According to Inspector Taggart, "Many of these street sheep prostitutes have been forced into this activity against their will. Most of them would be much happier just wandering around in the fields. But they are forced into this work by farmers who make them hang around bus stops offering naughty services to men."

First Priminster Lex Salmond ( Scottish Nits party) who was recently photographed hanging around a bus stop after the buses had stopped running for the evening has told newspaper reporters that he was simply "waiting for a taxi". He insists that he fully supports the campaign to stop Scottish rural street sheep prostitution.

Mr Salmond also claims that the Sheep prostitution problem is the result of the union of the Scottish and English parliament which led to the loss of Scottish Independence. He claims that "In an Independent Scotland Scottish men would not need to resort to such sordid practices. I have nothing against England or the English but this is their fault."

Mr Sherridan of the Scottish Republican Soviet Socialist Stalinist Party of Scotland (Provisional) has in the past claimed that the problem of sheep prostitution is "part of the proletarian struggle against the oppressive capitalist/syndicalist/imperialist war conglomerate and will be resolved by the dictatorship of the proletariat led by the revolutionary vanguard." He has not been available for further comment however as he is currently appearing in a reality TV show and is awaiting the outcome of a police perjury investigation.


Hi! I'm Grace said...

Hi, it is my first time here on your blog, and I would like to say, it feels good to be in a scottish blog. :)

Rummuser said...

Bunc, you have outdone yourself. This gets a thumbs up from me and a link in a new blog post.

nick said...

Very very funny. I understand Blighted Animals Action (BAA) is working hard to get these poor sheep off the street and into more dignified activities.

Btw, I understand Mr Sheridan has now left the SRSSSP as a result of policy differences and formed the Revolutionary SRSSSP.

Oh, and I found you via Rummuser. A great start to the day.

Grannymar said...

I hope the sheep have free Chiropody vouchers. Walking on roads can be very painful for a sheep because the hooves become uneven. :roll:

This baa lamb knows all about it.

Helen McGinn said...

"There's been a murdur!".

I though it only happened to Taiwan Sheep...you know...the plastic kind?

Hello fellow Scot, I stumbled over from Rummuser's blog.

Helen x

Helen McGinn said...

"I understand Blighted Animals Action (BAA)..."